The age of should
The way we think and express ourselves, and especially our unconscious thinking patterns affects deeply our subtle energetic field, our life and ultimately our health. Have you ever caught yourself thinking or feeling you are not good enough?
Comparing ourselves to others
We are literally bombarded by images and information every second of the day through our phones, computers, television, books, magazines and so on; it is the 21st century and we are not living in isolated communities anymore and unless you put some serious efforts into it you can’t avoid being reached by newsfeed, comments, photos, tags and all sort of inputs.
When any kind of information reaches our awareness level, our brain does what it does best. It tries to fit the information in our unique system of experiences and beliefs. It starts to compare in order to create pathways that are supposed to make our life easier and smoother.
Looking at the photo of someone that we love and care about awakens emotions like happiness, lightness, and joy that lift a notch our energetic level, expanding it.
On the other side looking at a war zone photo may awake emotions like sadness, anger, frustration that actually contract our energetic field, causing its implosion.
So what happens when we look at, or read about something that has been photoshopped, cut and pasted, tailored to look perfect? We start feeling that we are missing out and in order to get there we should…
I should vs I want
How many times have we deleted a text message thinking that we shouldn’t write that, or thinking that what we wrote doesn’t sound good? Our real time communication is not actually real. Most of the time it is a cut and paste in order to achieve the best possible outcome.
When we are having a real conversation we don’t have the luxury to delete what we just said in order to say something different. The response we get is based on a real situation more than a hypothetical one.
The dynamics are completely different and that’s why we are struggling so much with interpersonal relationships these days. We are use to communicating with lags and we carry around this feeling of insecurity, inadequacy that contracts our energetic field.
This creates blockages in our major energy centres and doesn’t allow us a smooth progression in our life and we feel stuck in a situation that keeps repeating under different circumstances.
In my years of practice with Energetic Healing I have experienced often-contracted energetic fields and the results are a sense of being unfulfilled, unhappy and a general discontentment with life.
When I hear a “should or shouldn’t” phrase during a session I always ask the reason why the client said that.
A classic example could be “I shouldn’t work so hard”; when I then ask the reason why I often get an answer like this: “Because I am too stressed, I am not having quality time for myself and the people I love, and I’m not doing what I care most about”. Have you ever heard this self-talk before? I’m sure you have.
Here is the beginning of the healing process. I asked the client to rephrase what just has been said in an empowering way and after a few attempts they usually come out with something like: “I want more time to look after myself; I want to spend quality time with people I love and I want to do what makes me happy”.
From should mentality we move into the space of want.
Starting from the want space
Understanding what we want may not be the easiest thing to do, however knowing that we want to be happy, we want to feel fulfilled in our lives, finding our purpose and meaning to our soul and spirit is pretty much a common thread.
Some of our needs are so hidden by layers and layers of “should” that we don’t even realise that they are there.
This is the reason why I am so passionate about Energetic Healing. We carry every possible emotion, event and thought in our Energetic field, from birth to the present day. With practice and sensitivity an Energetic Healer can read all this and the unfolding process can start.
Peeling away old and disempowering thinking patterns and habits really opens the door to self knowledge and awareness that will clear our mind, body and spirit to the meaningful, fulfilling and happy side of our lives.
New Year’s resolutions are often a long list of should: I should loose weight, I should exercise more, I should find a better job, and so on. What could be the best New Year’s resolution that you can make is to start finding the wants in your life: I want to feel happy, I want to work in that industry, I want to be healthy.
Once the wants are clear then the process of goal setting can start; we can set small achievable goals and witness the unfolding process of life while we adjust our internal compass with the different circumstances. We move towards any goal with an active attitude more than a passive-reactive one.
Would you start running a marathon with a fifty kilos weight on your shoulder? Start to take that weight off little by little by giving yourself a chance to know yourself for who you really are and what you really want out of your life; start 2017 with the Want and not with the Should.