I am experiencing you like never before in my world and in my life. These are challenging times, I can feel it, I can see it and I can hear it all day long.
When I face a challenge I have learned that I can focus on what could go wrong or what can come out right. If I look back at my thoughts and my experiences over the last few months I was eager to slow down from the hectic day-to-day routine. Time was an issue and it felt that there was never enough of it, to do and experience what my soul was really calling for.
I feel that the latest chain of events is an answer although twisted to my prayers. Never because I desired to have more time due to a pandemic happening nor I wished for people to suffer. The current events are out of my control, so much so that I feel at times that I have no control over my life anymore.
I am now being told what to do or what not to do daily by the authorities, who are supposedly in charge of our common interest and wellbeing. I trust these voices because what is happening is bigger than me and bigger than all of us in so many ways. What I don’t accept is being told how to feel about all this. My human response is coming to you Fear: what is going to happen to the people I love (some of them on the other side of the world, especially in Italy, watching the “Italian People’s Spirit” singing from their balconies and homes); what is going to happen with my job: how am I going to pay for my bills and for my necessities going forward?
The way I was doing it before (because from now on, there will be my life before Coronavirus and my life after the Coronavirus) won’t work anymore so I need to find a new way (#anewway). I am now being forced to co-create a new world together with other fellow humans and this time I hope I can make it better than before. I would like the new world to be less human and more humane, where love and compassion are our drives. Where we are bettering life for everyone and not just for the few on the planet is the ultimate goal, and not just a new way to pile up more stuff, more possessions and more wealth.
Why do I want to do this? Not because I am a ‘good’ person but simply because I have witnessed that the old ways are not working anymore. I do this out of my emotional intelligence, my rational mind, the ‘inner work’ I have been doing for the last 15 years and especially out of a deeper calling. My soul was screaming for this for a long time but I was too afraid to act. At the same time I didn’t have enough fear in me to put the wheels in motion.
Now it feels that I have got enough of your fearful presence surrounding me, I can no longer sit still with you my old friend Fear. We will have to work together: you acting in these times as a propelling force for me towards the bright future to come. There will be struggle and there will be suffering but I feel that this is part of the changing process. A caterpillar deconstructs itself to become a butterfly, after all. Wasn’t struggle there before? Wasn’t there enough suffering? Probably there was but I was blind to it; I was distracting myself by looking at my little garden and trying to build an identity around a distorted idea.
The idea has proven a fallacy, so all I need to do now is to find a new way.
So thank you Fear for showing up now more than ever, thank you for giving me the opportunity. I know that I am not alone in this as the whole world is looking at you. Someone sees a monster and others see opportunities and at this time I would like to sit on the ‘right’ side of history.
Much Love and Light xxx